I am in the middle of my nutrition program series at The Boys and Girls Club of Waterbury and the kids have been responding well to hands-on activities that involve food (who doesn’t??). I have been focusing on teaching them about … Continue reading
I wrote a post a while back describing my Alpha Mom Syndrome. I’ve done a lot of soul searching, practiced saying “no”, and explored my interests and passions over the past few years, and I believe I found a treatment. But before … Continue reading
My heart hurts. Have you heard the saying that you are only as happy as your saddest child? Well, my saddest child isn’t sad; my child thinks that this is the way the “real world” is, and to me, that … Continue reading
I have food intolerances and allergies. If you read my blog or know me personally, this is nothing new. I consider myself lucky that my issues came about as a result of an infection and may clear up over time. I … Continue reading
When my children were young, I loved when we arrived at a restaurant and we were handed the kids’ menu; a colorful feast for the eye, complete with tic-tac-toe boards, coloring pictures and a set of their very own crayons. … Continue reading
This has been a frustrating spring, and I am not just talking about the late-blooming trees, crazy pollen counts, and unseasonably cool weather. The school budget failed to pass in my district. We are part of a regional school district … Continue reading
I don’t always want to volunteer to chaperone my kids’ field trips. Some are a far trip on a school bus, some are searching for bugs in the mud, so it’s not surprising that I may wait a few days … Continue reading
Spring has finally sprung in the Northeast and it’s about time! This cold and snowy winter has made time feel like it was standing still. But now that the sun has come out, and the bulk of the snow … Continue reading
Did you ever have one of those mornings, that despite your best intentions, you screwed up and you are guilt-ridden the rest of the day? I recently had a day like that. It all started with a 90-minute school delay. I actually like a school delay on occasion; it gives both me and my kids a chance to catch up on some most-needed sleep – especially my little night owl. Last week brought an overwhelmingly large amount of homework for my 5th grader and she had been working diligently to finish it each night. Unfortunately, she also had her concert rehearsals and her brother’s hockey practices to sit through, so her evenings had been unusually late. On this morning after receiving the delay notification, I sneaked into her room, turned off her alarm, and closed her door. She managed to sleep until 9:00 am! She would have an hour before having to get on the bus. What a leisurely morning we would enjoy. Or so I thought.
I let her watch TV while she ate her breakfast and I went to post to my blog and return a phone call. From my window, I saw my neighbor’s daughters heading to the bus stop. I thought maybe they wanted to get there early so they could play in the fresh snow. But knowing their mother, they were not going to be playing in the snow before school, they were going to the bus stop as the bus was arriving so they wouldn’t have to spend time out in the cold. Here comes my “oh sh*t!” moment…
I hung up on my friend and dashed into the kitchen. I told my daughter rather quickly and loudly that I did my math wrong (nothing new there) and I miscalculated when the bus was coming. It was coming RIGHT NOW! I took her homework and shoved it into her backpack while she threw on her boots and grabbed her coat. She was still chewing as we dashed into the car. “I’m going to have such a stomach ache from this!” she whined. “Me too,” I thought.
I attempted to catch the eye of our bus driver as he was making the turnaround in our cul-de-sac. As I sped down the driveway, I was also skidding around on the freshly fallen snow. I leaned on my horn the whole way down the driveway in an attempt to get his attention (I’m sure every neighbor heard me). To my dismay, he wasn’t driving the bus – of all days to have a substitute!! She stopped momentarily as I skid to a stop inches from my neighbor’s lawn, but then went on to the next bus stop. My daughter was upset. “She has to stop the bus!” she was screaming. I laid on my horn all the way to the next stop. I yelled to my daughter to get out and run to get on with the neighbor. She said she couldn’t get out of the car because her backpack wasn’t on and the dog was in the way (whole other story, but my dog loves to go in the car, even if it’s just to skid down the driveway with the crazy lady in her pajamas). Now comes the Worst Mom Award nomination moment: I yelled, “Get out of the car and run to the bus!” Ugh.
Needless to say, she got on the bus, walked to the back and sat down. I could see her so I waved and smiled as if we had both run a marathon and crossed the finish line together. But that’s obviously not how she felt. I pushed her kicking and screaming across that line. We were not in it together.
So would it have been a big deal if she missed the bus? No. Not at all. I could have driven her to school. I could have let her finish her breakfast, put her homework in her backpack, kissed the dog goodbye, and sing along to the radio for the three-mile drive. Beating myself up about it doesn’t help, but that’s what I do. It’s my form of re-evaluating my parenting skills. How I felt looking at her sit down in her seat on the bus, stressed and pissed off, will act as a reminder the next time my math skills fail me and we are running behind. When she gets home in the afternoon, all will be forgotten. She rarely holds a grudge, which is a wonderful quality she possesses. She will swing the door open and yell as she does at the end of every school day, “Mom, I’m home!” in her sing-song voice and rattle off something funny/crazy/unbelievable that happened that day.
And even though she won’t mention the morning “incident,” I will apologize to her. I want her to know that moms make mistakes and get caught up in the moment. But more importantly, moms should also know that when you do something wrong, you take responsibility for the action. I can’t rewind time and change my reaction, but I can store it away for next time and respond differently. And if all else fails, I’ll add a dollar to the co-pay jar and see her in therapy when she’s 20.
Some New Year’s Eves come along and I make a resolution. Sometimes I follow through, and other times I forget what I resolved to do by February. It’s never been an important time of renewal for me. I find that … Continue reading