No More Bad Body Talk!

Can you imagine a world where we accept ourselves and others for our differences?

Women in our society tend to be self-deprecating; bad body talk seems to be the trending topic when girlfriends get together. Some women share their bad body talk with anyone with whom they come into contact in order to reduce the risk of being called out by someone else for having a big tush or flabby arms. Others have an internal voice – the nasty b*tch, the mean girl, the false authority, the doppelganger – that take care of the bad body talk for them; constantly barraging them with thoughts like, “You’re leaving the house at that weight?” or, “You have absolutely no control, you fat f*ck.” How is this helping us live a happy life???

We are women, and as Beyonce says, we rule the world. If that is the case (and I believe it to be), then why do we use so much of our power tearing ourselves apart? I think that from a young age, girls are taught to hate their bodies.  Case in point:  An infant’s onesie…

We are held to a standard (not sure who decided upon this standard) that accounts for 10% of all women’s bodies in the world.  So that leaves us with about 90% of women who are body failures.  After all, not everyone can be tall and thin.  But for those of us not tall and thin, why do we only focus on the thin part?  Why don’t we focus on getting taller?  My favorite cat (and I don’t like cats), Garfield says, “I’m not overweight, I’m undertall.”  Maybe we should be obsessing and sharing posts about crazy spa treatments for stretching our limbs and torso or  “short” detoxes.  Maybe we should be shaming short women we see at the tailor having pants hemmed in the same way we shame fat women who are enjoying an ice cream.  Crazy, right?  This is my point!  We are all different heights and we are all different weights.  We are all different shapes and we are all different sizes.  Let’s embrace our differences instead of shaming them.  Let’s stop calling out others for meaty thighs and belly rolls on the beach.  Let’s stop using terms like “bikini body” to describe “the standard” – instead think of this way:  You have a body?  Check!  You want to wear a bikini? Check!  Then you have a bikini body.  Plain and simple.

Plain and simple is easier said than done, but with a little time and effort, thinking about your body without using bad body talk is possible.  There is something called “neuroplasticity,” which basically means that we can develop new pathways in our brains and change how we think and alter the habits we have acquired.  The more often we tend to these new pathways, the quicker they will integrate into our “autopilot” thinking and doing.  The road not taken will eventually become the new beaten path.  The opposite is also true:  The less often we think the way we used to or say and do the things we used to do, the quicker those pathways will be pruned from our ever-evolving brains.  How does this apply to bad body talk?  Consider this:  Stop.  Just stop.  Every time that inner b*tch says something about your double chin or your muffin top, tell her to shut the f*ck up.  Change a negative into a positive: Tell yourself that you are beautiful and unique just as you are.  Tell yourself that the size of your belly or your thighs does not dictate the amount of love your children/dog/best friend have for you.  You are enough, just as you are.  Do this every time.  Write it down if you want; keep a positivity journal.  Start being kinder to yourself, and soon the bad body talk will go away.  Trust me, you will be happier without that inner b*tch chatting up a storm.  Welcome a kinder inner voice and nurture her.

In addition to quieting the nasty inner voice, we should all strive to support each other; we can’t run the world alone!  Do this by steering clear of bad body talk conversations, about your own body or the body of someone else; change the subject or share the self-love work.  If body talk is the conversation, then talk about how strong your legs are and how they supported you during a recent hike, talk about how wondrous your belly is and how it carried your baby (how can you hate your belly after doing that??). It takes courage to take the road less traveled, and it takes practice.  Remember that practice makes progress, so start now.  Leave me a comment about one thing you like about your body.  It may be hard, but it will get easier, I promise.

Can you imagine a world where we accept ourselves and others for our differences?  Can you imagine if the next generation of girls grows up with mentors and idols that come in all shapes and sizes, all colors and abilities?  Be that idol.  Be that mentor.  Be that woman – the one you know you can be if you just start being kinder to yourself – today, just as you are.